It was a hot summer afternoon. No one else was home. I lingered in bed enjoying their absence. I could hear nothing but the sound of the ceiling fan. What is that called? Humming? I let my eyelids rest hoping the other senses would take charge. I tried to find a pattern, a pace to follow, but the sound was just loud and dull. Parting my lips, I sensed my jaw joints relaxing. I caught myself smiling and I knew what I was going to do next. On most days, I touch myself to fall asleep. Today, it was going to be out of this delicious boredom. Lying on my stomach. I knew this was gonna be good. It is always good on a lonely afternoon. I looked forward to the sweat, to hearing my voice, and to the glorious nap that was destined to follow. Too lazy to take off my clothes, I sneaked my fingers inside, caressed my hair, and bit my lips. Enjoying the moisture, I closed my eyes. Thinking of flowers and one droplet of dew, I started rubbing myself.
Floating in galaxies, my body lost its weight. I looked around. Immersed by the pink, purple, and blue. Sparkles everywhere. I think I used to call them stars. I could fly and I flew away. Blowing into the pink, it fluffed away like a dandelion. I rushed to touch the purple, it withdrew, taking the shape of a huge cosmic spiral. I ran and pressed my whole body into the blue. Shattering to a million pieces, each piece escaped in a different direction. Assembling again, the particles created an intergalactic ladder. I took the steps and at the top, I deep dived into the void. Rushing with my head first, I heard a buzzing. It was getting louder. I closed my eyes, covered my ears, and started screaming alongside it.
I woke up. Trying to smack the buzzing fly, I smacked my face. I could not stop laughing.
Somehow I knew it was the 70s in outer space.
Words by Lobna, a lover of feminisms, books, coffee, flowers, cats, and everything-pleasure.
Illustration by Malik Elmessiry, a composer, producer, citibiker, and occasional sketcher.
Find Malik’s illustrations on instagram @timidjungle
KANDAKA 